22/02/2004 - 10:54 p.m.

Long Time Gone

I am 20. I have been 20 for ten days. Everybody who remembered, please, raise your hands. OK, both of you can put your hands down now. The rest of you may writhe in shame and guilt for a while and then forget about it. It's not that big a deal, but it was a sincerely shitty day in spite of the whole getting old thing.

However, a big thank you to Patrick and to Abby for the recognition. You two tend to rock my world.

On Friday, as a Valentine's/ anniversary present I took Nathan to the Rascal Flatt's concert. I can't say I hated it. When did I come to like country music? It isn't any and all forms of country, but it's more than I'm entirely comfortable admitting. The concert wasn't actually too very fantastic, it seemed like the group had been on the road long enough, and of course the audience was mostly drunken rednecks and hicks in cowboy hats. But it wasn't too bad.

So, yes, it's been 10 months for Nathan and I. He remembered ten minutes to midnight the day before, and ten minutes after midnight the following day. We were busy at the Davenport Show Choir competition all that day.

I can't believe I agreed to go to the competition- I never went to any while I went to the school. However, I found myself sitting in the balcony in a midst of half the TRHS choir- none of whom acknowledged my existance. I thought they were the best group there, honestly, along with CR Pararie, CR Kennedy, and CR Jefferson. Rooselvelt doesn't need to spend a lot of money on shitty props and loads of costume changes- you guys just keep singing and dancing, because that's what you kick ass at and that's the important part. Who cares how much money Ft. Atkinson can put up on the stage, or how many costumes CR Washington can parade around in, just keep singing and dancing.

I loved show choir when I was in school. I desperately wanted to be a part of every dancing sparkly minute of it. Unfortunately, I cannot sing or dance: this puts a crimp in that little plan- unless I'd been a guy. If I'd been a guy I could've been tone deaf with two left feet and they'd have given me a sequin vest and a place on the bus.

After the competition, Nathan and I went to go find his ex girlfriend- a senior in high school this year. She's considering coming here for uni next year, and Nathan worries from time to time about that because "I'll want to spend time with her, because I do want to be good friends with her again, and I don't want that to bother you". I have to say, I would hardly be bothered by it. I'm the opposite of a jealous girlfriend- if he went and screwed some girl I probably wouldn't give a damn unless he didn't tell me about it. So with this girl, I wish I had a chance to actually get to know her, because she seems like a pretty nice kid, but I've only met her twice, so all I have to go on are Nathan's stories of how she broke his heart.

As far as school goes at the moment, I no longer have Vocal Production. Anybody want a Yoga mat and Goofy Pillow? (I've decided that whatever the name of it actually was, I'm not using it, it'll be a Goofy Pillow forever.) There is a huge long story to tell about the whole process, but I'm too tired at the moment to tell it. Maybe someday, when you all behave yourselves.

I want a holiday. It's almost a month until Spring Break, and I will probably spend that week helping Nathan clean his room at home, helping Nathan's brother Ryan move apartments, bored in my dorm room, or miserable at home. None of those are particuarly exciting prospects.

My mother wants me home pretty much no matter what- I don't know why. Probably to finish my sodding taxes or something. And I'm sure if I'm around, I will be helping Nathan and Ryan, but I don't want to. I'm sorry- I like being helpful and everything, but I want a week not to do any work. I want to go someplace else and do fun and exciting things. I want to travel. It seems so long since I've been out of the state, driven long miles in the darkness, in the morning. I don't like to fly, I want to see something out the window, to watch time and the landscape change as we go.

Tomorrow is my interview for camp- a phone interview, which is worrying. I want to be rehired, passionately. The last few nights I've had horrific camp dreams involving Patches and foreign counsellors that spoke no English whatsoever and weren't entirely sure what they were doing at camp, and campers running wild and amuck. It's been thoroughly disgruntling.