19/04/2002 - 3:57 p.m.

For we were young and sure to have our way

Right, so, afterschool I passed my middle-school on the bus today. And, yes, I realise Callanan is sinking into ghetto-ness, but I didn't expect to see these two kids, must've been twelve, standing in the middle of the front lawn making out. Seriously making out- the only thing keeping it from being sex was that they had clothes on.

Now, don't think I'm saying that "back in my day" (all of six years ago) middle schoolers were all pure and nobody had sex or anything. I know for a fact that there were people who were doing just that. However, I kind of want to ask why.

I'm tempted to say it's because we're teaching them so damn early. 7 year olds have more knowledge of sex than I did when I was twice that age. But, I couldn't say for certain whether that has anything to do with it. I don't want to blame the media or parents, because I think that's stupid. I don't want to blame anybody, I just wonder what the mistake is that's being made.

I know that there are lots of airs that middle school kids put on. They believe that they are the best thing ever. By leaving elementary school they are no longer labelled a little kid. With this, then, they believe they are an adult.

That was me. I was convinced that 12 was it on the road of life and from there only senility could follow. You are talking to a girl who was seriously considering the possibilities of marriage. (I hope I'm waking up a little bit now.) And how was I convinced of this adulthood of mine? Well, the grown-ups were telling me to be responsible, and to be mature, and raising incredibly high standards. At the same time, however, I was being treated exactly as what I was, a child. Even though I was expected to think and act like an adult, I was not supposed to expect adults to treat me as such.

I'd say it is. We wonder why we have so many problems with our kids... I have to use this metaphor, they're like having problems with a pet.

A dog will get the idea that it is a person. His family takes him for car rides, they feed him at the table, he sleeps on beds, and is very seriously "another member of the family". The family, however, will have problems with the dog because he doesn't think that he needs to act like a dog. He will forget things he has been taught, rules he knows, because he isn't a dog- he's a person. If Bobby and Judy don't have to come when they're called, then he doesn't either. When the dog doesn't understand why you are upset with him, his behavior is irrational. Many dogs end up in shelters and never see a family again because of this.

Now, replace the word dog with 12 year old, and family with adult, and you'll see what I'm talking about. If other adults can do this, and that, and the other, why can't I do it too? Well, because you're a 12 year old, not an adult, but we neglected to mention that. We just want to treat you that way.

And if these 12 year olds don't end up unwanted in shelters, they get put on heavy drugs. Rather than trying to change the child, why not change society's method of dealing with them? It's a lot easier than medicating millions of kids every year.

I've been meaning to read Reviving Ophelia. I'm not into psychology as a means of placing people into groups and medicating them, which it isn't for the most part (except for when it is), but I am interested in why we do the things we do and how we could change what we do.