15/09/2001 - 3:06 p.m.

Just writing.

I'm the only one home. I love that feeling of being in an empty house all alone to basically do as you please. Doesn't mean that I do anything any different, but if I wanted to, I could, and I like that feeling.

Actually, I'm playing all the movies and music that nobody else in the house likes. It's funny, my mother spends half her time ranting that I don't act like a girl. Look at my tastes and how could there be any way I don't act like a girl? I listen to The Beatles, but also, Simon and Garfunkle and "Cabaret" (and right now Moulin Rouge), I read Tolkien and Adams, but also LM Montgomery. I never wear dresses or makeup, but I wear jewelry (I'm currently wearing six rings, three necklaces, ten bracelets and a watch). There's no way that I'm unfeminine.

I went to Atomic Garage yesterday. That is the best store. I could die there. Buttons and vintage clothes and furniture. I could just lay down and die in WDM in that store. I can't believe the 80's are coming back in. What's wrong with you people? There is nothing cooler than the 60's. Except maybe now.

The late 90's were pretty cool. 97 on. What could be better than living in the middle of a technologically advancing retro world that looks like it's in the middle of a homosexual revolution (I'm all for 'em if I'm not one of 'em)? Maybe all that shit a couple of days ago brought all that to an end, but hey, we got to have our cool period. "When life was innocent, we were young, and our mood rings were blue." I guess that as far as a time to live, this isn't all that bad.

Of course, my kids (hypothetically, I sure as hell don't ACTUALLY want any) are gonna hate me. I'm just not cool. I don't live out any of the stereotypes of the age, and I can see that. First of all, I hate most of today's music. A few things make it past, but none of it is really as high quality as 60's music. I notice it most when I get done listening to Moulin Rouge and put on Sgt. Pepper. Sgt. Pepper is so obviously better that it's shocking. However, I like both of 'em.

Now, my brother is a little weirdo. The only thing he comes out strong as liking at all is bowling, video games and drawing. He dresses like any other guy, and I suppose he thinks he's cool. Maybe he is, I dunno. What's the weirdest thing about him: he doesn't listen to music at all. If he's in the car and the radio's on, or when the radio comes on in the morning, and Adam Sandler sometimes, but other than that, the boy lives a life devoid of music. He doesn't watch movies either. Monty Python is about it. I don't really get that kid at all. I think I do, and then I think about him altogether, and I don't know him. But then, how well do I really know anybody? I don't think I want to get into that.

I wonder what other people think of me, you know, when they're getting into who I really am. Am I just kind of a smartish kinda nice weird girl? Am I a stubborn super bitch? I wonder how many people I know would just rather I got the hell out of their lives. I like to think of myself as a basically nice, pretty knowledgable and intelligent, generally funny girl with a cynical outlook on life who dislikes association with "the masses". Everything I like must suit me because I'm not out there doing it for anybody else so who cares what they think? When I'm not being that, I'm simply being confused. I wonder if anybody else has a description to match mine? That's be weird.