22/08/2002 - 9:34 a.m.

Like butter scraped over too much bread.

I'm so tired of being home. I seriously don't want to have to come back here ever again, I don't want to be tied to these people, but I am. In the face of it all, there's really four more years yet before I'm truly out. I was thinking last night, if I'd argued my case a little harder, maybe I could've been on a plane to England tomorrow instead of driving up to Cedar Falls. But we all know everything they say about dreams.

My mother was going to make some attempts to do something "as a family". I can't say I don't admire the effort, but dear lord, half the time we can't eat dinner "as a family". And I don't mean having us all in the same room (that happens far too often because none of us are allowed to have lives), no I mean our being civil to each other for an hour or so just doesn't happen. She wanted to try miniature golf. Maybe with some other family, but not mine.

She wants me to come home more often than I did from camp. Well, that's all very well and good to say, but when it really just means they want somebody else to do the dishes... I leave tomorrow. With luck, I might not have to go home until Christmas (and maybe not even then if I can work it right).

I've most finished LOTR again. I'm almost done with book VI in Return of the King. I can't believe anyone would take on the challenge of making that into a movie. I've just finished all the Mordor bits with Sam and Frodo, and I don't know how they're going to manage to convey the emotion that's needed. I already know they're going to cut some bits and as I read now I can judge what they'll do away with, but still... There's a lot of power in the description that just makes their toil so long, and so hard, reading it you suffer with them. How do they manage that in a movie?

Roosevelt started school today. All my friends are in school now. I'm glad I'm not there, I need to get away.

Glithoniel A Elbereth.