26/10/2001 - 8:59 p.m.

Chilly-metaphysics

Do you know- my hands aren't the same skin colour as my face? According to the make-up people, they're not. Who knew? (I sure didn't.)

I am abso-bloody-lutely freezing. It doesn't help that I'm sitting in the coldest room in the house, but, well, I'm still freezing.

I'm trying to give up being bitchy, at least until the end of the show. I mean, it doesn't make anything any better when I complain to somebody else, and it makes me only feel worse about the show to listen to other people, so I'm not going to do it anymore. No matter WHAT Josie does with her clothes, or what Jimmy and TD and Alex decide to do, or if anybody else says anything to me, because it's just not good for anybody involved. Anyhow, it'll keep me a lot quieter, and I won't have to feel that I'm maybe a lot more like Grendel than I think. I give me until nine thirty tomorrow morning though.

Does a room cease to exist if you are not in it? If there is a canary in the room, does the room exist because the canary is there, or can the canary not exist either? What if you can hear the canary? I don't know the answers, but I rather enjoy the implications of the questions. Something to think about when you're still awake at some miserable time of the night.

I like the idea that dreams are simply an alternative reality. I've read about this woman who had extremely vivid dreams about a house- she explored the whole house and came to know it as well as her own through her dreams. She was going to buy a new house, and after a long time of looking, she came upon the house in the dream. She walked around the house with fascination, because it was exactly the same as the one in her dream. The owner follwed her about, confused, and finally told the womane that she recognised her as the ghost who walked around the house as though she owned the place. So, was that woman really there? Or did they only appear to look alike? My friend and I will have dreams, and then upon awaking, discover that the other had the exact same dream. We've had completely sensible conversations together in dreams, and picked them up later. I often dream about having done my homework, only to arrive at school and find that I didn't do it at all, or neglected to even take home and open the book, though the assignment will be the exact one in the dream. Teachers don't like, "But I dreampt I did it, doesn't that count?" as an excuse for not doing homework.

Well, that's enough metaphysics for today. I'm freezing and tired. Good night to everybody out there!