08/01/2002 - 6:41 p.m.

I'm not getting you down am I? I wouldn't want to think I was getting you down.

It seems as though I've been away for ages. Am I getting too attached? Nah...

Glawe announced the show: Hit and Misdemeanor. Yeah, sound cool? Well, it's by William Gleason. Who is he? He's the fellow that brought you the stage version of The Pink Panther Strikes Again. I dunno. The lead female is a little, er, loopy for half the play (because she's an undercover cop/paid ringer in the audience), and the lead male is an enourmous whale of a guy who you don't even see except for one scene, and for most of that he wears a burlap bag.

The only thing the show has going for it really are two very good monolouges for the lead guy. Jimmy did one for college auditions, and I did the other (changing the sex, of course) for Thespian Festival. Other than that, yeah, it's just...I don't know.

I am definately auditioning for Charlie Brown. I might not get a part there either, but at least I'm covering everything.

I hope that I'm being let down over nothing. I hope that eventually, I like the show, but there's so much apprehension going along with that.

It's a sucky idea to think that you're going to grow up and turn into your parents- the very people you despise more than anyone else in the world, and one day, that's destined to be you. Why? Why are we destined to become something we hate? It's not programmed in at birth- it can't be, but why can't we break it? It sucks to have so little control over your own life, but at the same time it sucks to have total control over your own life. Or at least, when you get down to the realities of it, it does. If it weren't for society though, I'd be OK, but all of this pay your taxes be a responsible citizen crap gets me. We've had to be responsible up till now, when the hell does the fun start? I guess the answer to that is the reason people take up crime and drugs for fun- not cause they're stupid, because they're looking to be different, fun. It's a pretty hopeless state of affairs, really.

I guess this is the point I start in about the pain in the diodes on my left side... I think I need to go find something to eat, or take a nap, or do something to keep me being as irritable and cranky as a seven year old without a nap.