25/09/2002 - 9:33 a.m.

Try a line this year for women who actually eat.

A Haiku

Though I wear boy's pants
Size large, why do woman's eights
Refuse to zip up?

I'm not concerned by my weight, just the idea that I can wear kid's clothes which are not made to fit me, but not women's, which are supposed to.

I want a little old man hat like Paul's grandfather has in Hard Day's Night (he's very clean, isn't he?). Well, one of those or a motorcycle hat like John's, or one of those turn of the century boy's caps. Unfortunately, those types of hats just look dumb on me because I can never find them that fit me.

Last night I was standing in line for ice cream behind this guy who reminded me strongly of Echidna, if she was a guy. Imagine my surprise when he opened his mouth and spoke with a terribly nice Australian accent. He was waiting for his order, and the woman asked me what I wanted. Try as I might, it came out with an accent. I pick up far to easily on accents and sometimes I have no control on what comes out of my mouth (sometimes I just babble things in French, when I'm mad I go Irish, and if I've been watching too much television....). Well, Mr. Australian guy looked at me and asked me where I was from. I apologised and explained that his accent was just really infectious, and I'd lived in the US my whole life. He told me he could've been fooled. So, he probably thinks I'm very strange.

I'm taking a nap right now, I think. I should've gone to bed last night, but I wasn't tired at all until I woke up this morning. I think I'll end up writing more this evening.

It's this evening.

Whoever it was decided that college student's speech topics have to be insufferably boring needs to be shot. Everyone in my Oral Comm class is talking about speeches on suicide and rape on campus and drugs and all that "meaningful" shite that we're all expected to get a rise out of and "relate to". Give me Mike the Headless Chicken or Borley Rectory, or the Cardiff Giant (no links, do your own research, it's worth the trouble), or something interesting. None of the people in my class would sit down to a documentary on campus rape and say afterwards that they enjoyed it. However, if FOX had a Wildest World Records marathon, few of them would change the channel for a couple hours. Why then, do they choose to write their speeches in precisely the opposite manner?

I give my speech on October 9th, so I'm tempted to do John Lennon, but I think I won't. I'm torn between just digging up an old paper when I go home (Cardiff Giant, Hurdy Gurdy) and using that, or perhaps doing SETI or the Bell Witch or something that's at least interesting.

Another ice cream story to tell. I was standing in line, and someone asked for a soft serve cone. The girl behind the counter told him that it was sort of runny. He said that was OK, he didn't mind. She said that, no, it was really runny, like, liquid, he probably wouldn't like it. (It was at this moment I was waiting for the bazouki player to start up.) He said it was OK, he could have it in a glass. She finally decided just to tell him that they didn't have any soft serve.

Fortune cookie of the day: The fun side of a relationship begins to unfold.