28/02/2003 - 1:09 p.m.

You're a student- whether the idea appeals to you or not.

No Shame tonight. Have to write a No Shame piece, therefore. I am seriously considering a bit about the aforementioned Freedom Fries. But I have a long while yet before I have to write anything.

The shop was closed today, same as yesterday. As much as I think it sometimes gets in the way, I don't know what to do with myself when I don't work. Today that adds an extra four hours to my time. I don't know what to do with myself.

Hehe, there are tours going on today again. A woman with two little kids just went by the window- the boys were twins, about ten years old wearing matching khaki pants and black shoes. The one boy had a yellow coat with a blue collar and sleeves, and the other boy had a blue coat with a yellow coat and sleeves. I love that, like twins named Annie and Zoe instead of Timmy and Tommy- it still goes together, but it isn't identical.

The German Lit prof. really adores having me in his class. Today was the day to turn in our mid term papers. I wrote mine this morning in about an hour, which is twice as long as I spent on my first paper, and that was deemed a masterpiece. So today we were waiting for the class before ours to finish the test they were taking and he asked me if I'd done my paper (I haven't done a few of the worksheets because I can't stand doing them. Give me an essay to write, don't ask me to write down all the page numbers where Gregor hurts himself in The Metamorphosis.) because, he said, he wanted to read more of my writing just because it was so good.

During class we had a discussion over The Strange Story of Peter Schlemihl (look it up, read it, it's fun, it's good) and I ended up arguing with half the class because they were too bloody stupid to understand the story. This is the first time in four years that I've been in an English class with "regular" people. I've always taken the advanced or AP class, or whatever, and it's pretty obvious that a whole lot of the people in this class are not even as good at Literature as the dumbest people in those classes. So today, I soundly denounced the entire class- I get carried away in my arguments because everyone's so thick- and afterwards I was packing up all my stuff, and finishing the discusssion with the prof. I mentioned that next time I would probably do better to keep my mouth shut, and he basically told me that I better not because I'm the smartest person in the class and he appreciates it that somebody knows what's going on.

I know that I know all of this already, but it's so extraordinarily nice when the people grading you are telling you that. It's better than worrying that they're going through the Internet trying to work out from whence you've stolen your paper. No, I'm sorry- I didn't steal it, I'm just that good.

However, I'm not really certain if any of my essays would be considered that good. For me, I mean. I sit down and 45 minutes later I have a paper that I turn in for full points (or close to, sometimes I have spelling that I miss). These are not my best work, or at least, they have no right to be considering the Mozartesque way that I write them. What on earth might my papers be like if I went to a bit of trouble on them?

These diary entries are certainly less than my best work. These are little more than thoughts and events that flit through my head and day that I think need writing down. I could have a diary more like Guildenstern, full of rhetoric, if I wanted one. But I don't. I'm not that interested in keeping this diary for anyone but me, and I don't need all that in my diary, I keep enough of that in my head as it is.

I wonder, what would my work be like if I did my honest to goodness best all the time? The thing is though, I'm getting an A for the pretty good stuff- if I were to turn something better in, it would all be for the same grade. What on earth do you do when you can't even be satisfied with an A?