29/05/2002 - 12:12 a.m.

We leave it all to chance

Nobody ever told me how awful this thing looks without my fonts. Thanks to pain-in-the-ass computer Short Hand and Kelt have disappeared from my life at the moment and I am seeing the diary the way I assume most of you see it. I'm sorry. However, at the moment, I don't have time to do much about it, and anyway, it's more for my viewing pleasure than any of yours! Go download the fonts yourself! There, I said it.

Anyway, the point of today's adventure is that I am done with school (well, there are strings, but, they don't count). I took my government final- ask me anything about the Constitution, and that was, well, it. Not that I went home or anything. Nope.

I went up to the costume room and painted my name on the wall with letters a foot tall in bright blue and yellow (the official Thespian colours), just like generations of Thespian seniors before me. It took me forever and looks kind of crap anyway, but yes, it's big and it's up there.

While I was up there, Jimmy, Josie and Abbie came up and painted and left in time to show up fashionably late for the "mandatory graduation assembly". They were leaving and Josie goes "You have to come, right now!" What for? "For the graduation assembly." Oh, I'm not going to graduation. Shock-horror look from Abbie, rude comment from Jimmy (that I'm sure he didn't think I heard) and they were gone. Yeah, that really makes me want to come, guys. After they left I cleaned up their paint and mine. Tricia and Brett had been up there earlier and cleaned up their paint. Joy was glad that someone was willing to do it, because she certainly didn't think it was her responsibility (right-o).

After that, I didn't have anyplace to go, so I just sat down in one of the comfy chairs up there, and fell asleep. Uh-huh. It must have been about 11 that I fell asleep, woke up at 1 when Abby and Joy came up to work on their History project.

Cleaned out half of my locker, relocated 3/4ths of my wardrobe. I don't know how I managed to get all that stuff in there.

Went to the park for the "Thespian Summer Kick-Off" (It's Good!) Which was really a lot of fun- at least, I liked it. I hope those guys keep up the job they're starting, because they've already got more vision than we did.

What's up my fellow eastsider. I really couldn't think of anything to say until I read the cool things you said about everybody else. What I like about you is that you don't care what people think of you and even when you don't like someone, you find something to complement them on. And you do it with sincerity. You see the best in people even your enemies. I've had a blast growing up with you and having our "deep" conversations on life.
That's from Andy, and it means a lot to me. I am so proud of Andy for all that he does; I've known him since 7th grade, and I guess I have seen him grow up. I have a lot of real respect for Andy. Phoebe too.

Starmy was asking me why I'm not going to go to graduation, saying that it's recognition for my accomplishments and all. Well, no, to tell the truth, any of my recognition came at the Drama Banquet. I don't do much else- 90% of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions go to Thespians and shows, the other ten percent is focused elsewhere. None of that would be at graduation. I heard the assembly in the auditorium while I was up in the costume room (the costume room is literally underneath the balcony) and it sounded more like a cattle show. Herd them out, parade them around, and take them back in- the "best ones" get a little more notice, and then they go off to private bidders at the end. I would've sat down there and shared with Andy and Jessica (both with my last name) all the stuff I instead shared with the walls of the costume room. Why spoil their good time?

'Course, when they were talking to all those Lynnville-Sully boys who weren't allowed to go participate in their graduation (because they went to a strip club on a school field trip), they all said "You know, this doesn't punish us, it punishes our families." My mother sat across the room throwing me dirty looks, telling how my grandmother's been pleading with her to make me go. Luckily it's too late, but I don't care. I wasn't born to live up to somebody's stupid expectations. My dad was the same way, he got a doctor's note to avoid going to his college graduation (it was the only way they'd let him out of it).

High school can not be the end of my life. I am terrified by people who go on about high school as the best years of their life. What are they living for?

I leave for camp in five days. I'll try to get in that many more entries, but I'm going to be busy. All you TRHS people remember that I will be at Thespian Festival, so, don't start missing me yet.