19/01/2003 - 6:47 p.m.

I will, said the earth, for all I've created returns unto me.

A girl from my high school that I didn't really like all that much joined the military to get money for college. We'll rephrase that, I liked her OK, I hated her religious ideology. Now she's getting shipped off to the Middle East. (Those last two statements are not in any way related, I swear.) I don't know why people keep talking about "if there's going to be a war": there is a war, and it's going on all over the world right now.

There were protests various places around the country yesterday. I wish I could believe it would work. It would be so wonderful to be able to believe that thousands of people getting up and saying "No!" could stop the forward march of the armies of the world. But in the end, it seems, might is right and the sword will cut the nib off every pen it encounters. Some days, living in this world, it's next to impossible to be idealistic.

All I can do is continue to hope that I am right, that what I believe is good and true really is. But all of the murderers, all of the politicians, all the religious fanatics, and all of the multitiudes of people in this world are all beleiving the same thing too. How can we all be right? How can we all be wrong?

We spend our whole lives trying to justify our existances, that is all man kind has ever done. On the way to these many explanations we have created religions, empires, books, music, war, justice, love, hatred- we have created everything to solve this question. Why are we not allowed a clear glimpse towards the answer? What will we do if we find out we were all terribly and horribly wrong?