08/03/2003 - 6:38 p.m.

How cheerfully he seems to grin.

I've decided that my relationship with the Icehouse is of the love/hate variety. I can't really even explain it, except to say that I love to be there, but I hate it. I think it's because I like what it's all about, theatre people and all, but I hate the drinking and the music. Unfortunately, no one else would be there if it weren't for that.

People there are always asking me if I'm having a good time, if I'm bored and whatnot. I'm not. I'm just not a part of the whole dancing drinking thing. I seriously do love to just sit and watch and pick up on bits of conversations.

This morning I drug myself out of bed at eight o clock to get to work at nine. I worked for three hours putting masonite facing on three platforms. I got to babysit the three girls that couldn't be trusted to do anything other than play with the screw guns. I don't know even who they were, but they were certainly out of place. I wonder if they work in the costume shop, but that's a disgrace to the costume people too. All three of these girls were peroxide blonde, wearing colour co-ordinated sweatsuits and trainers. Since today I basically threw warmer layers of clothes over my pajams, I was wearing my air force shirt and my beat up men's pants that only fit if I wear shorts under them. I felt like the purple penguin of the flock, I tell you.

Anyway, we finished up two of the three platforms and the smartest of the three girls looked at me and asked if she should go get another piece of "Mennonite" for the third platform. "Of what?" "The Mennonite." "Do you know what you just said?" "Yeah, Mennonite. That's what that brown stuff's called, isn't it?" "Masonite. Mennonites are the ones in the buggies." "Oh, whatever, that stuff."

Three hours of that, my friends.

Luckily, I ran into Q and had lunch with him as a sort of brain cleanser. Being with Q is sort of a Zen experience (very Anglicanised, but it does relate to Zen if you think about it)- you never end up quite where you thought you were going to, but you generally end up someplace you wanted to be.

Today, for example, we went to lunch- the question was, did we want to go to Redeker, or walk? I said I didn't care, and so we ended up at some random sandwich place in the basement of some building on campus I never even knew existed. Then we ended up talking about the war, which will probably be declared in the next few weeks.

If I had a class at 12:15, I would e-mail the Student Walk-Out people and have them put my name on the list, because after reading Thursday's press conferance I'm pissed off. We have neither reason nor right to use force with Iraq. I do not need any President sending people out to die on my behalf- because I don't want it. Security isn't my thing, freedom is my thing. And, as Benjamin Franklin said (loosely quoted), "Those who desire security at the expense of freedom deserve neither." You can't be safe and free at the same time- accept it. If you're totally free, you're free to die, if you're totally safe, you're safe from death.

I've been wanting to go to a student film that's playing this weekend. I believe it's called something like The Story About When Larggy Got a Bee Sting and Shut Himself in His Room and Went Insane (I looked it up, that's the full and correct title). It's in about half an hour. I want to go, but I don't want to go by myself.

So, this next week there are loads and loads of things going on. There's a reading at the Vibe that I'm probably going to (if I can find someone else that's going), never been to the Vibe, but it seems there are things going on there all the time. This is a reading by Luke of No Shame fame. He probabaly writes some of the best pieces at No Shame, as far as the writing's concerned. There are to be a couple of parties going on just before Spring Break that I suspect I will go to for fun. There's Madame Butterfly, which would be great if I could get tickets (and somebody to go with me). I have to go to Thursday's Observatory show. I guess that's it really, but that's more than there is to do around here usually.

My problem, of course, is having no one to do any of this with. That could be pointed commentary, I recognise that, but I don't mean it as such, it's a fact of life. Two things I currently hate: going places by myself and being friends with both halves of a couple.

I hate going places by myself because nobody else goes places by themselves. Humans are too social.

Well, the second has to do with my friends Mary and Nathan. For about the last month every weekend was basically the three of us, now they're "dating", so it's the two of them. This is fine with me, except that they never bother to tell me when it's just the two of them and when they want me around until it's too late.

I need some more friends, or I need to give up on them altogether. The latter is seeming like a good idea.

I ought to go to Larggy anyway, because it looks like it'd be a good time, but I don't want to go by myself- passionately don't want to. So I think I'm going to stay here and read some scripts and go to bed.

Oh, and this doesn't fit anyplace else, so it goes on the end. Broadway is on strike. Why? Because they like singing with live bands. To all of you who think that the pit orchestra of the future is a synthesiser, ask a singer their opinion.